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Finally candid answers to all those important and sometimes embarrassing Jewish dating questions!!! Presenting the debut column of Frumma Frumsky. Ask Frumma all your questions that have yet to be answered properly and honestly by someone who actually knows what religious singles truly have to deal with and understands how to deal with these issues.

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Subject: How to be honest without being a nasty person.

Dear Frumma,

I'm an attractive Jewish young woman living in New York. Quite often men come over to talk to me when I am at singles' events, chinese auctions, charity events, etc... and ask me out. Sometimes there are guys that I'm completely not interested in and do not want to go out with. How do I tell them no with out being nasty about it. Saying things like, 'I'm busy now," seem to make them think there is a chance just ask again later. How do I deal with this?

Esther

Esther--

Being that I myself am not too hard on the eyes, I completely understand your predicament. Been there, done that, and ran for my life. Seriously though, what helped me was having a friend with me when I went to the kind of events you mentioned above. Before the event, we made an agreement to keep an eye out for each other. I had a signal, as did she, that could have been as subtle as Elaine on Seinfeld tapping her head - or holding down your three middle fingers. The latter, to anyone who would see it wouldnt see it as being anything out of the ordinary. Your friend though, should come over and say she needs you for something important and rescue you (to the nearest bathroom to powder your nose and decide if its time to leave, or just wait a bit until he moves on). For those of you that have guy friends and a stalker on hand, this works like a charm. A benign signal and he is at your side, you smile apoligetically, and he says, "Sweetie, lets call it a night." Not too bad, right?

Frumma

P.S. Worst case scenario? Two words--pepper spray.

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Note: The views and opinions expressed here are that of Ms. Frumma Frumsky. They may not necessarily represent the opions of the site, staff or members. This section is meant to address issues in observant dating. The responses may include sarcastic remarks, or humorous statements intended to make light of the question, answer and perhaps the situation as well. We are not responsible if you decide to take or ignore the advice given in this column.

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