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Finally candid answers to all those important and sometimes embarrassing Jewish dating questions!!! Presenting the debut column of Frumma Frumsky. Ask Frumma all your questions that have yet to be answered properly and honestly by someone who actually knows what religious singles truly have to deal with and understands how to deal with these issues.

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Subject: Friends

Dear Efrum and Frumma,

I just moved to the West Side and am trying to make more friends and / or become closer with people that I already know. What kind of additional suggestions do you have for me?

I am a social person and do go to various classes and social events, but nothing has really clicked in terms of making friends that I speak to and spend time with on a regular basis.

In addition I have hosted a shabbat meal and invited some people that I am friendly with, but not close to. I think the meal went well, but have not heard from any of my guests. Should I call them and follow up etc.? Do you think they should call me?

ZB

Dear ZB,

You seem to be on the right track with a lot of the things that you're doing. Looking for friends can prove tough, even in places with seemingly thousands of prospects. Maybe try letting new friends find you.

What I mean is going out and planning things that you enjoy doing, that you have real interests in, and sharing those activities with others. For example: if you like admiring all creatures great and small, try a local Jewish singles event, hiking, or volunteer at the Central Park Zoo. Sharing meaningful experiences with others often brings you closer than sharing mundane ones.

Bear in mind, as we get older, sometimes it takes a little longer to build new friendships. Give yourself and your neighborhood some time. You might have to invite people a couple times, and let them know you'd like to find out about what they're doing during the week. Give them your phone number and get theirs. If they refuse, I might take this as a sign that perhaps they hate you.

Good luck.

Comments:

Frumma, Thanks for the advice. I will keep enjoying life and hopefully, thing will blossom from there. Your last sentence made me laugh. I definitely hope you were kidding. ZB
Freckles 03/08/2006 PM

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Note: The views and opinions expressed here are that of Ms. Frumma Frumsky. They may not necessarily represent the opions of the site, staff or members. This section is meant to address issues in observant dating. The responses may include sarcastic remarks, or humorous statements intended to make light of the question, answer and perhaps the situation as well. We are not responsible if you decide to take or ignore the advice given in this column.

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