| Subject | Re | Created By | Start Date | Last Post | ||
| Jews of color | [21] | Bechirah | 17 Mar 19:23 | 20 Jun 17:20 | ||
| Feedback for Inappropriate Profiles | [12] | Anonymous | 16 Jan 23:07 | 5 Apr 11:24 | ||
| marriage & prostitution | [28] | SimpleMan | 13 Mar 14:57 | 4 Apr 20:01 | ||
| Evil plan to get more dates | [35] | Anonymous | 6 Jan 01:19 | 18 Feb 11:50 | ||
| Get together in Brooklyn | [2] | Single&Frum | 23 Mar 16:56 | 18 Feb 11:45 | ||
| Page 1 of 6 1 ·2·3·4·5·6 Total of 28 Threads | ||||||
|
Jews of color |
|
|
I would like to open up a discussion on the problem within the Jewish dating community in regards to not being willing to date Jews of color..........answers Please!!! I posted this question some time ago and I think it is ashame that so few people have responded........it is a major problem within communities that are Jewish and people of color!!!! I guess the ramifications are not evident!!!! |
|
| By: Bechirah | |
Comments:
|
Bechirah: I am so glad that you opened up this topic. I had always felt that perhaps it would be more of a challenge to Jews of colour and yet certainly when in Israel..one sees Jews of every hue and persuation. Couples abound Ethiopians and African American Jews with Askenazic and Sephardic mates; Vietnimese original boat people and Filapino companions and nannies with Israeli friends and spouses. Certainly in Toronto, I know of at least a half dozen African or Caribbean gerim who are married to frum jews or became bal tushevas together. I have a personal friend, a wonderful young professional whose mother was a European rabbi's daughter and her husband a Haitian convert and their children were raised frum and are obvious Jews of colour. They married ultimately, and were very successful in their professions and Baruch Hashem in their marriages thus far. The guy didn't have as much of a challenge as did the beautiful sister, but ultimately she married a Sephardic European professional and are very happy. Please don't give us Bechirah, a special man who will be 'colourblind' will find you. It is just one more test that Hakodesh Borachu has constructed and I have lots of emunah and feel that you will pass this test and find your special besherte. In my shul alone there are two Asian jews of colour who are happily married, and for a while there were three black jewish men and women of colour with their Askenazic spouses. It will happen, NEVER SAY NEVER! |
| here I am 1 Mar 9AM |
|
Thank you so much for your encouragement.........you have no idea how VERY DIFFICULT this whoe dating thing has become. In reality it is quite racist!!! I am a mixed blooded Native American and a professional, if I were caucasion I think that I would already be married!!! But I will try to keep aspirations and hopes up. I was raised in an enviornment were people were rated on their abilities and goodness of charecter, nothing else!!! Thanks again, and Shabbat Shalom. |
| Bechirah 1 Mar 6PM |
|
i would date a black girl if i was attracted to her. |
| SimpleMan 2 Mar 8AM |
|
It is not so much as would you date her but would you marry her? Jews of color do not want to be looked upon as a novelty but just as any other Jewish person. Torah does not speak about color or preferences just about the need to find ones Beshert. The basis for attraction is usually what you are used to.......most people fear the unknown and are afraid or unable to see outside of the "box". |
| Bechirah 2 Mar 8AM |
|
well that's what i meant. i would date and then marry.... i don't know if the basis for attraction is so much "what you are used to" as much as "what you see in the other that you associate your core identity with"... |
| SimpleMan 2 Mar 9AM |
|
Yiddishkeit has become complicated. In the US, Jews of color have problem with shidduch because the frum community is simply racist. It's not only that Yiddishkeit has racist tendencies, but it's institutionalized racism. And to be fair to our Ashkenazic brothers, they feel that if they invite you over to a Shabbat meal they are not racist. Most don't even know they are racist. Then there are gedolim who will posek racist and can justify it through halacha etc. Much of the time it's justified in the "fact" Jews of color are converts. But, alas, there are many Jews of color you are Jewish from birth. They are still treated as if they were converts or goyim. It's also not fair to expect people who have been socialized to look down on people of color to, all of a sudden think, "I'll be nice and marry one." It's very funny when talmid chachamim say "A Jew is a Jew...there is no difference" and then in the next breath they are saying "I know this wondeful Ethiopian girl for you." I think to myself, "Nice, how much education has she had, how much Torah does she know, does she even speak my language?" The retort is, "I don't know, she was abused by her husband, she's got a couple of kids and, of course, she's black. She's such a nice woman". The same person would never do such a thing for his own son or daughter....simply matching a person based on skin color. It's amazing that when it comes to skin color Yiddishkeit is blind of everything else. I've had women say to me "you are perfect catch; everything that most women would want, but you are black and that cancels everything". I've had women say to me "I would never be seen with you if they paid me". I'm frum, I'm working on my smicha, I have a couple of terminal degrees (I'm also a doctor), I am a professional and businessman accomplished in many things....including being a good wonderful chef. And all people want to match me on is my skin color. Of course, I'd marry another Jew of color, but if color were not a factor would we still be a match? The irony is that among the goyim there are dozens of shiksas who would marry me at the drop of a hat. Unfortunately, the less frum the people are, in Yiddishkeit, the less they care about race....but the less they care about everything else too. Which creates a problem for frum people of color. The solution: marry a non-frum Jew and pray he or she will frum up....if you can handle living with a non-frum Jew for a while..hatzlacha! (I wouldn't do it). That's why I'm still single. |
| Anonymous - SleeplessInShomron - 2 Mar 10AM |
|
You are soooooo right!!! As a person with at least two different ethnic backgrounds and born and raised in the United States I am soooooo tired of racism!!! I am almost to the point of marrying or a least dating a non observant Jewish person just because I also find it impossible to meet anyone else!!! Furthermore it is a shame that so many Jews are fairly ignorant of the origins of the Jewish people. Moses was originally from Yemen and quite brown. The majority of Jews did not start to "lighten up" until forced expolsion into european countries. It is such a twisted convoluted problem one that does not appear to have an immediate solution.........There was someone on this stie that made a post stating that people who were frum from birth should only marry or date other people who were frum from birth and also converts, etc. If this isn't racist thought I don't know what it is!!! A class system in Judiasm!!!! |
| Bechirah 3 Mar 8AM |
|
Colors? wow! which colors are available? Can we get Jews in blue or green now or just the old boring shades between diaria white or healthy stool brown? |
| Anonymous - Fievish Viestush - 21 Apr 10AM |
|
Whats wrong with Racism? The hundred yard dash? Those cute little short pants that the runners wear? vats wrong wih that? |
| Anonymous - Moishy Tushtickler - 21 Apr 10AM |
|
as long the girl is jewish is all i care about. they could be any color. i detest racism. its a good thing to explore many different types of cultures and learn about people. as long as one culture isnt destroyed by another like when a jew converts to his or her lover's religion (or vice versa) mabe there are personality traits that the other person has that is just what you need and u can't benefit from them because you're thinking about race and color. racism is not only wrong, but it limits perception which hurts the person doing the racism as well. |
| xenomaster1985 2 Jun 12AM |
|
I do not think color really matters. However, I believe that many of the older generation jews tend to forget that the jewish people are found in every area of the world and thus come in different hues. Personally I have encountered a few jews who were not Askenazi ro Sephardic. I am more apt to look for a jewish spouse who has a good heart and will honor the traditions of our forebearers. I had dated women of different colors but not jewish. Now I date only jewish depsite the color. As for the racists of the world, that is their problem not mine. While I do look at pictures of women that wish to meet - it is not to look at their skin color, but to see their smiles (which is one of the few things that ttracts me to that special somone. I feel for those that are matched up with someone on the basis of your skin color. I wish people would just grow up. Your value as a person comes not from color but from your soul. While "all jews are equal" there is no equality among jews. One other thought: if we are only concerned about the color or our mate's skin and not the quality of their soul - what does that make us? |
| Marc 20 Jun 5PM |
|
I am glad that there is this topic, because I married a Jew of color. She is African American and was Jewish for 7 years when I married her. Before I met her, I never thought about Jews being of different races. I had nothing against them, just that I was never exposed to them or told about them, so when I saw her, I figured since after dating for a nbr of years I had no luck with caucasian women, what could be wrong with dating an african american woman, as long as she was frum. We got married in 2000 and were happily married for 2 years and then we had a son. My wife and son were accepted into our community very nicely, except by the black hatter yeshiva crows who only stared her down. Unfortunately, we are now going through divorce, but not because of race issues. I would be more than willing to marry another Jew of color if I could find one. |
| singleabba 5 Jul 2PM |
|
I would happily date and even marry a woman that I loved and found beautiful, black, yellow, or any other colr! In fact, let me know if you have any canfdidates- I am particularly fond of Asian women! |
| aging slowly 11 Aug 1PM |
|
Aging slowly, keep me in the loop if you find out anything! :) |
| singleabba 16 Aug 5PM |
|
This is a comment to sleepless in shomron - I am a frum ashkenazi jewish women and i personally think that the only thing that matters is compatibility - do you enjoy each other's company and have what to talk about, do you have similar hashkafa and goals, etc. - I think it's terrible the way many who are religious relate to Jews of color - and to all gerim. I like the way you wrote and if my profile intersts you, I'd be glad to hear from you. |
| Shelly 1 Sep 11AM |
|
Shelly, where is your profile? I'm sorry I've been gone. I was in Israel making preparations for my Aliyah...buying land etc. |
| Anonymous - Sleepless in Shomron - 28 Mar 1AM |
|
I am a frum young girl and I would date and marry a frum black jew in a heartbeat. If you ask me I would consider it "marrying up" because you know that that person is a strong and dedicated jew. |
| T 20 Jun 5PM |
|
|
Bookmark | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Help | Contact Us | |
| © Copyright 2010 TwentyfourSix.com |