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| DeepSensitiveSubstan |
member |
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| Gender: |
M, single |
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| From: |
New York, New York, United States |
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| Religious Stream: |
Modern Orthodox - machmir |
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| Last login: |
Unavailable to anonymous viewers. |
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| Looking for: |
Serious Relationship |
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| Age: |
57 |
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| Profile Information |
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About Me:
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I am very deep and sensitive, a substantive individual; believe a relationship must contain mutual love, respect, cherishing, support, loyalty, devotion, appreciation, sacrifice, responsibility, communication, empathy, sincerity, wanting to be with each other and wanting to please and benefit each other, would be horrified about hurting or wronging the other and, even though no one is perfect, both have to give and try 100%. I am cheerful except when things are on my mind or I don't feel well. Have sense of humor. I work on myself and have a natural and authentic personality. I'm informal, creative, intuitive, multi-dimensional (many different interests and a broad range of characteristics; it can take time to really get to know me) and insightful. Not materialistic. Good heart and midos. Need all these in a woman. Many questions on this site are hard for me because I defy regular categories. For example, I am considered Litvish in hashkofa and have smicha from a Rosh Yeshivah but I am OK with being in the world and have certain secular interests and hobbies (e.g. love music and movies of the 1920s, 30s and 40s; which I collect on original recordings and on videos). I don't believe in conforming to the frum culture or party line, particularly externals; dress casually (even on dates and in shul), believe in developing my intrinsic individuality and inner growth and not stifling personality; so I selected Modern only out of lack of compliance with typical definitions, but I fit no regular category. My maternal grandparents were observant, my mother married an unreligious fellow [my dad] but my grandparents had me over for shabos and yom tov, I went to shul and had seudos, and they started me in school in yeshiva age four, so I was exposed to being frum since I was a little kid and came home to a traif and secular house. During high school and college I had no religious affiliation and then went into learning full time for 5 1/2 years and have been observant since '75, so I'm no standard BT nor FFB. My parents respect their rabbi son [me] but are not halachic and my brother married a goy. I have written in Jewish media, have done professional public speaking and have been in business, have a religious internet site with 2,000 pages of teachings on practical Jewish living and growing [Shemayisrael.com/rabbiforsythe]. I believe in developing into one's potential individualistic self within the framework of learning and living Torah, I like to go to the source, not to cultural axioms. My family has values and principle and considers it important to be a mentsh, which are also fundamental. My parents are ethnically Jewish, as opposed to observant. Several standard match-questions are hard, narrow and too rigidified, for example, as a "real world question" I could be flexible about how much hair a girl would cover, so I would answer "partially," but I would consider the rapport and compatibility more important than whether she covered this much or that much as long as it was something "in the ballpark." Yeshivah-black hat/Neve Yerushalayim or materialistic girls generally reject me, so "non-conformist, eccentric, individualist, cool, down to earth, occasional kibbitzer but basically misnagdish; strives to be a mentsh; a guy with more warmth, substance & personality than usual" more reasonably and accurately describes me than customary labels. |
I'm Looking For:
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Matches as well as possible the qualities and values I cited above about myself [love, respect, devotion, communicative, etc.] for a "two way street." Need someone who is mature and sweet but not corny or dull, good heart that you can feel in your heart, has a natural personality (same person inside and out), superlative midos, principles and character - and she should be someone considered a bit of a "character," spunk and fun enough to be interesting but not so much as to be wild or unstable, informal, down to earth, must have a touch of cool or hip, unpretentious, non-stylish dress (e.g. jean skirt, sweat shirt, tie-die blouse, sneakers or sandals, no make-up nor lip stick; including on a date), pleasant disposition, not tough nor demanding, not a malcontent, giving and thoughtful, sensitive, substantial as a person and deep, not materialistic nor superficial, low maintenance, very bright and understanding, preferably some creative or artistic aspect, empathetic, accepting, casual, sincere, a non-conformist and more of a personality than conventional yeshivish folks (which I need in a girl to have sustainable rapport), a plus if she could be considered a "boobala," she has her own mind and personality, works on herself and on growing, appreciates me for who I am, responsible, has or appreciates sense of humor, about 5'2" to 5' 8", not fat, no big nose, age: "as young as I can get away with," informal, in touch with herself and is "normal" psychologically, saichel, a mentsh, tact, no children, not jaded or cynical, preferably "first timer" and not divorced [if divorced, won't take "baggage" out on me, and get is a must], positive attitudes and outlook, sees good in people, unselfish, people like and respect her, willing to give herself to the relationship and make it central to her life, I don't want to be second fiddle to any cause or career, she can be out in the world or a bit modern but in her mind she is in the traditional woman's role, politically conservative, as free from hang ups and temper as possible, wants her life to stand for something meaningful. I don't go out much, like to stay at home, a girl could pull me out some as long as being together and our closeness are of prime importance. The relationship is top priority. She knows how to be the friend indeed to the friend in need, even if it means sacrifice and caring, can "be there" when "life happens." Stable background. Balance: not a frumak, has her own personality and not an assembly line "product" of frum education, on the other hand not hefker about religion; knows when to be serious and when to be light. Can cook. Takes care of homemaking but not obsessed with it; I'm a messy bachelor, I'll be cooperative but I don't want a life of criticism or being chased or henpecked. She has to complete me, not control or reconstruct me. Even though I am a New Yorker, I have very often been told by people that I give the impression I'm an "out of towner" and have been referred to by other people many times with terms such as: gentle, easy going, pleasant, cheerful, "midos-dik" and "not a typical New Yorker." Accordingly, my prospects seem better with "out of town" girls (e.g. Baltimore, Los Angeles, Chicago, Southern Florida), especially if (as a practical matter) they are presently located in the New York area (where I am). Strong in basics, has her priorities straight. No vegetarian nor smoker, no pet. |
Interests:
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Analyzing Torah to find it relevant, deep, meaningful and applicable to practical life. The New York City Subway system, which I have studied in depth. Movies and music of the 1920s, 30s and 40s which I collect on original recordings and on video & DVD (musicians, comedians and entertainers from, and documentaries about, the era); study of the Holocaust and Jewish & European history leading up to and including World War Two (relating to which I also have a movie collection). Socializing if with substantial people and with a sense of purpose, or in a context of significant interest or to promote emotional, intellectual or character growth. |
Music:
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American stage and film music, classic jazz, ragtime, swing, great entertainers (e.g. Al Jolson, Eddie Cantor), tap and chorus dancing (e.g. Bill "Bojangles" Robinson, Fred Astaire, Busby Berkeley); from the approximate years of World War One to World War Two, on original recordings and, with the advent of "Talkies," films, from these years; music of great popular composers of the time e.g. George Gershwin, Jerome Kern, Irving Berlin, Richard Rodgers, Thomas "Fats" Waller. |
Television:
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Doesn't interest me except to use for videos and DVDs, so I control and enjoy what I watch. |
Books:
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Not a heavy reader, because in the past I had several retina tears for about two years (stabilized by lasering), since then I get eye strain easily from reading; have a collection of Torah books and also secular books in the areas of my interests. |
Heros:
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One does not have to be famous or distinguished in the eyes of the public to impress me. Anyone who is a mentsh, has fine character and spiritual values, regularly acts unselfishly on behalf of other Yidden to contribute meaningfully to their lives and treats people with respect, and who has a very good heart, can become my hero. |
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